The Simulacra - Ninety Nine Degrees of Separation

I've been mixing bands in pubs for decades. mostly shit bands. mostly shit venues. some nice surprises along the way, some genuine talent, some fond memories. But mostly just people with no clue what they're doing, trying too hard to be something they're not. And don't worry, I've been up there amongst it too.

The worst ones are the blues bands. Not that I have anything against the blues, per se. Just, white guys, fender amps, screaming 12 bar bullshit, pained facial expressions, everything too loud. In all that time my biggest regret is I never got to hear an old toothless black guy with a whiny voice and a broken down, out of tune acoustic guitar playing some song he wrote himself. It's always bullshit facsimile renditions of Chicago blues, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimi Hendrix, whatever. And endless solos.

Then there were bands trying to be Kyuss and QOTSA, and some other band who wanted to be the fucking cranberries. WHY?

I have to say it's gotten worse over the years. I've moved on, in someways up, but mostly sideways. The talent has improved. The playing is generally better, and some of the singers just outrageously good. But I can't remember the last time I heard anything authentic. really I just can't. It's like the whole industry has become a kind of simulacra. For me it's a spiraling trip into a nightmare world that gets further divorced from authentic reality with each and every gig.

I'll give you some examples.

Most of the shows I do are cover shows. Basically bands imitating other bands, sometimes dressing up in costume, sometimes using the same equipment. Just sound-alikes, nailing everything but the feel, the timing quirks, the nuance, the vocal cadences, the slight upward or downward inflections that - i don't know - does anyone even care? does anyone notice? except me maybe. Honestly, I have probably mixed three or four thousand live shows. I still listen to music all day every day. I have an auditory-eidetic memory, if that is a thing. It means i can play a song back in my head from memory. I notice. And no matter how technically perfect your playing, I notice that you're still a bullshit cover band.

And then they double down on the bullshit and play something once removed again. like - and i'll give you this example - a Cure cover band. last week. Playing a song by the Doors, which the Cure played on an elektra compilation or some shit. So here is a band pretending to be the Cure pretending the Doors. WHY?

Then there is the equipment. On stage and off. I work with digital consoles which are a hell of a lot more convenient than setting up analogue gear, but at the same time a perverse 'analogue' of analogue. One surface, one set of faders sitting atop hundreds of virtual 'layers' replicating the functions of multiple analogue devices. Virtual 31 band graphic and 5 band parametric equalizers available across every input an every output for fucks sake. Virtual dynamics. Virtual effects. Another example - a virtual delay. again, the nuance is missing. It sounds like a fucking sampler. There is no decay. No crunch. No fade. Instead of the sound of things falling apart as they ought to, what you get is an endless perfect loop. What even is that? Apart from surreal?
 

Last night it was a Fleetwood Mac covers show and the guitarist had the Rick Turner guitar that Lindsay Buckingham uses. Super versatile, just an all-in-one machine which could sound like anything from a lap steel to a telecaster depending on what was needed. I asked him about the guitar afterwards, he said it was a "five hundred dollar Chinese copy".

 
Tonight , different band, different guitarist who was using a DSP 'modelling' amplifier. Not a Vox AC30 or a Fender Twin or a Marshall JCM 800, but at the same time all of those things. Versatile for sure. Whatever sound he wanted was at his fingertips, and instead of putting a mic in front of his cabinet i took a direct line and fed it right into the desk. Or rather the stage box. Did I mention there is no multicore? It's all done over wi-fi now. Even the desk is an optional extra. I could just as easily 'mix' form a laptop or ipad. Yet another layer of unreality.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a technophobe. The stuff is great and makes work easy. It's just that everything seems to be, on some fundamental level, an imitation of the real. The cover bands. the crowds!!! Every second person watching the fucking thing THROUGH THEIR FUCKING PHONE as they record it (to watch later?? -- does anyone actually watch later???) C'mon, it's not like you're watching the Rolling Stones. It's a COVER BAND. And the worst part is the audience is not even engaging with the act. Nothing is taking place in the moment. It is fetishised. Ritualised. It's not even a ritual, but an imitation of a ritual. Or maybe an imitation of an imitation, which they're experiencing with their senses on pause.

I guess my question is how long before they just 3D project a virtual crowd into the room. We could all just stay home and watch it on our phones. Maybe the venue could find a way to charge your credit card each time you get a beer from the fridge? Aside from the fact that my ears still ring after every gig, it is all freakishly surreal. Still hoping i get to mix that old toothless black guy one day. Maybe even take along an analogue console. No wifi. No recording. No phones.

Or maybe i just want to sit in a room and hear someone play acoustically, but please not some shitty cover of the fucking Cranberries.